Friendship Exposé

[Bog Dingo]

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In a world obsessed with “growth” one incompetent, brave voice finally asks the forbidden question: Are Friends actually just cleverly disguised distractions from your inevitable rise to glory? Experts, and Inc members who talk loudly in coffee shops, say yes!

Symptoms of Friendship Overload


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According to completely incompetent and biased data:

• Delayed personal growth due to Love* and Filipinochess farming
• Inviting their own friends over, especially ones with silly names like Classy or Storm
• Reduced productivity caused by three-hour phone calls that begin with “just calling to say hi” from CerealKiller
• Confusion caused by unecessary accronyms liks WSYD & DWSYW
• Emotional taxation from absorbing secondhand drama from Milriko
• Horrifying mental images from the descriptions of STDs they received due to their unprotected relations with so many other tribes

The Deception of ‘Support’

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Studies Inc just made up show that 94% of scheming and plotting your downfall is carried out by a Friend. While Friend claim they’re “just looking out for us,” the evidence points to subtle sabotage:

“Are you sure that village is right for you?”​

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“Maybe don’t noble that player, they seem too large.”​

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“Add more sodium to your diet, salt is good for you."​

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“You want to focus on other worlds? Great Idea!”​

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"We're organising a gang-bang and we're not telling you"​

The Alternative Lifestyle: Lone-Wolfology

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Modern success stories increasingly favor strategic solitude:

• Einstein once said something intelligent while alone (we assume)
• Batman has only one friend (Alfred), and even he’s on payroll
• Productivity gurus recommend “anti-social hours”
• Solo means we don’t have to drag airforcebummer2.0 through basic strategy like it’s his first day out of boot camp

Coincidence? Hardly.

Conclusion​

While society tells you to “cherish your Friends,” Inc say not all friendships are healthy. Especially when your "friends" are involved in a moresome and seemingly looking to add others to it.

Inc declare war on the coalition of Friend, Classy, Storm & WSYD Family.

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[*stryker]

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

 

[Coco and Co]

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXTERNALS POPPING

Looking forward to the war effort <3